Being asked to deliver a eulogy is one of the most personal things someone can be asked to do. It is also one of the most daunting. Most people who find themselves in this position have never written one before, and the weight of getting it right can feel like a great deal of pressure at an already difficult time.
The truth is that a eulogy does not need to be perfect. It needs to be honest, personal, and spoken from a place of genuine care. Here is a straightforward guide to help you get started.
Start With the Person, Not the Format
Before you write a single sentence, take some time to think about the person you are honoring. What made them who they were? What did they care about? How did they make the people around them feel? Jot down specific memories, phrases they used often, or values they lived by. These details are the foundation of a meaningful eulogy.
Follow a Simple Structure
A eulogy does not need to be complex. A clear, three-part structure works well for most speakers. Begin with a brief introduction of who you are and your relationship to the deceased. Move into the body, where you share memories, stories, or qualities that capture who they were. Close with a few words that honor their legacy and offer comfort to those present.
Aim for a length of three to five minutes when spoken aloud, which translates to roughly 400 to 600 words on the page.
Use Specific Stories, Not General Statements
The most memorable eulogies are built around specific moments rather than broad descriptions. Instead of saying someone was kind, describe a time when their kindness changed your day. Instead of saying they were hardworking, share a concrete example. Specificity brings a person to life in a way that general statements cannot.
It Is Acceptable to Show Emotion
Many people worry about becoming emotional while speaking. It is a natural concern, but emotion in a eulogy is not a flaw. It is a reflection of love. If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, pause, take a breath, and continue when you are ready. The audience is with you.
Practice Before the Day
Reading your eulogy aloud several times before the service will help you become familiar with the words and manage your pacing. It also allows you to catch anything that sounds unnatural when spoken. Ask a trusted person to listen and offer feedback if that feels helpful.
BestFarewell’s SageLink AI obituary writer can help families capture the full story of a loved one’s life, giving eulogy writers a strong foundation to build from.